Chattering Cancer Gremlins

I can’t speak for all cancer patients, but any man who has had prostate cancer will know what I’m talking about. Until you have been told, “you have cancer,” you have not been visited by the chattering cancer gremlins.
I have talked about these demonic little pests many times over the years since I was treated for prostate cancer in the summer of 2004 at Loma Linda University Medical Center.LLUMC BLDG I’ve talked about them with scores of men who’ve contacted me shortly after they were diagnosed. I’ve spoken at several  Loma Linda support group meetings, and on dozens of radio and television interviews. I wrote of the chattering cancer gremlins in my book “Don’t Fear the Big Dogs.”

Here’s how they work. They hang out cowardly, deep in your gut. When you’re watching television, or driving the car, or trying to go to sleep at night, they start chattering. Quietly at first from the middle of your stomach, they chatter their way  up your esophagus, going for the throat. “Chuggada, Chuggada, Chuggada,” they chant. “You’ve got cancer! You’ve got cancer!” Louder and meaner until, you shake them away, moving your mind to a different place. They fade slowly…chugga..chug..chug…they settle down – only to return at some other inconvenient time.

Here’s how I got rid of the chattering cancer gremlins. By doing my homework. The gremlins balk at information. I studied the ways prostate cancer could be treated. The gremlins cower at knowledge. Once I had discovered proton beam radiation and decided, undeniably, that it was the best treatment for me, the gremlins got much quieter and showed upBixby Street Bridge far less frequently.  Once I had the whole thing figured out, knowing I’d go to Loma Linda Medical Center for proton radiation treatment and confident in a positive outcome, the gremlins sort of hid in the closet. After I had  been successfully treated for prostate cancer and was driving back home to Wisconsin, while cruising up the Big Sur in California, I ceremoniously tossed the chattering cancer gremlins off the Bixby Creek Bridge . . . never to bother me again.

Related Post:  Beating Prostate Cancer with Protons

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