Big Ten to Expand Again?

According to unidentified sources, in 2016 the Big Ten will consider adding thirty-two new schools to the conference, bringing the total to forty-six. Schools under consideration include, among others, University of Maine, Bradley University, Western Michigan, Southern North Dakota, Northern South Dakota, Phoenix University, and Rhode Island Coastal. An official of the Big Ten Logophile Committee, argued that the name should officially be changed to “Big Forty-Six” explaining, “We have fooled the public long enough. We added two teams and still called it the Big Ten, then two more. Up to fourteen and still calling it the Big Ten.” BIG_10_LogoThe head football coach at Phoenix University, who doubles as head of the art department, suggested that, without the name change, the proposed new logo would look stupid, explaining, “You can make an “1” look like a “I” but it’s hard to do that with a “4,” so if we change the name to Big 46 we can make a nicer logo, using just one font.” He offered the example shown as proof of her argument that the logo would look bad.BIG_46_Logo Most coaches seemed to favor the idea of forty-six teams, saying their team would have a better chance to win a division title because the conference would be divided into four divisions of eleven teams, and one division consisting of Michigan State and Ohio State. Divisional playoffs would be held between the North and South divisions, and the East and West divisions, and the two playoff winners would play for the right to play the winner of the Michigan State – Ohio State game. The decision is not expected to be made soon, anticipating a long drawn-out battle over the logo design. If this expansion happens, it would make the Big Ten, or “Big Forty-Six” the largest sports conference in the world, surpassing the NFL which currently has thirty-two teams. In a related rumor, the NFL has hinted it may expand to 85 teams in the near future, possibly adding teams in Omaha, Montgomery, Des Moines, Billings, and a whole bunch of other places too humorous to mention.

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